


hold my breath & wait 'til i shake

by R_Gunns



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Animal Transformation, Humor, M/M, Puppy Play, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Gunns/pseuds/R_Gunns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is turned into a dog for eight months. This is what happens after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is me proving a point to myself that I'm actually capable of writing nice things lmao, it's very silly. Inspired by the [cutest fanart ever](http://dreadelion.tumblr.com/post/85320632117). I'll add more tags as I go along.

One of their villains has a sense of humor and Steve spends eight months as a dog. Not a huge problem in itself since he comes out the other end fully intact and the Avenger's coped pretty well while he was gone. It’s what comes next that's an issue. Sort of.

See, eight months is a long time. God knows Bucky gets that, he missed Steve often enough, even when technically he was right there, curled in Bucky's lap. So it’s a long time to become accustomed to an altered state of consciousness; long enough for new habits to develop, tics to form. And Bucky knows a little something about that. So he notices -not right away- but after a few days of holing himself away in his room Steve puts on his game face and starts being a person again (mostly) and Bucky starts to notice.

The first thing really should be an indicator that something is up, but Bucky is...reasonably distracted. He’s on the sofa reading a paper before their morning run when Steve comes in, bowl of cereal in one hand and just _sits on Bucky’s lap_. Ass right on top of the newspaper, back pressed to Bucky’s front and all he can do is sit while Steve wiggles around making himself comfortable.

“Uh,” he manages. Steve tilts his head towards Bucky in question even as he sort-of clumsily spoons some cereal into his mouth, and (still surprised into silence) Bucky looks at Steve and raises his eyebrows.

“Oh.” Steve says through a mouthful of cornflakes, looking down at the crumpled triangle of paper sticking out from under one thigh, “Sorry.” And he goes right on back to eating. Bucky fights not to gesture wildly at Steve’s back in confusion, instead finds himself staring mournfully at the little bit of newspaper he can still see, wondering what the fuck is going on.

After a little while Steve finishes his cereal and gets up, holding the bowl in one hand while he smooths out the crinkled paper in the other. Then he smiles at Bucky, all sunshine and love and Bucky has gone _soft_ (was always soft when it came to Steve) so he can’t help smiling back.

Then they go for a run and Steve never mentions it, so Bucky puts it down to another way of giving him casual touch or something, and forgets about it, because ever since Bucky had told Steve how much he craves touch (after going so long without it the need is like a physical ache) he’s been going out of his way to touch him as much as possible. So it’s not out of the realm of possibility, really.

 -

On their run the next day they’ve just reached the dog park when Steve abruptly veers off to the right without warning. By the time Bucky realizes, Steve’s got a good thirty second head start, meaning Bucky can only stand and stare as Steve disappears into the distance. He’s not running like it’s an emergency, so Bucky isn’t worried, just vaguely bemused. Steve stops when he gets to the tree line, bending to pick something up, then heads back over to Bucky. When he finally ambles over, he’s grinning and holding a tennis ball up like it’s a goddamn prize. Bucky stares.

“What.”

“Did you wanna play catch?” Steve asks, his smile faltering a little when Bucky just continues to stare.

“ _What._ ” he says again.

“I just thought you might--” Steve looks down at his hand, then back up at Bucky face and his brows furrow suddenly. His fingers go lax and the ball falls to the floor. “Uh. Never mind, let’s go."

Before they do Steve kicks the ball off towards the field, and they watch when a nearby dog sees and goes running after it. Bucky slides his gaze back over to Steve when he makes a disappointed noise in the back of throat, starts to put two and two together.

-

“So hows living on two legs again then, cap?” Tony asks later that night. They live in the tower now, and Tony likes them to gather together for dinner every so often, even if it’s just them ordering in Chinese food. Bucky watches Steve chew it over, thinks about the way he’d sat on the floor to eat instead of the couch, the soft weight of him leaning against Bucky’s legs as he eats, the repeated aborted movements he keeps making towards the food (with his entire body instead of his hands), and isn’t at all surprised when Steve says,

“Weird.” And he seems to want to leave it at that, but Tony cajoles him into admitting that he doesn’t feel _right_ in his own skin anymore, knows that it’s probably temporary but still uncomfortable. Tony nods and says something vaguely unhelpful, but Bucky’s focus is still on Steve. He can’t _quite_ figure out what’s up with him, why he seems so uncomfortable about this. Residual effects are expected, the doctors had said that, listed things like sensory processing problems with the differences between dogs' and humans', aches and pains leftover from the transformation and a bunch of other stuff that would come from being a dog for so long.

He spends the rest of the night thinking about it, stroking Steve’s hair absentmindedly until eventually he falls asleep with his face pressed up against Bucky’s knee. It’s nice. He’s just thinking about waking him to go to bed when Tony perks up again.

“What about you Barnes? You missing your canine friend?” he asks, looks pointedly at where Bucky's fingers thread through Steve's hair. Bucky just shrug

“Having a dog to help with recovery was good. Having Steve back is better,” he says, though that’s only partially true. He loves Steve and had desperately missed him when he’d been gone, but Bucky is also kind of missing the comfort of having a dog around, not just to help with his nightmares and stuff, but also just-- as a companion, without constantly having to worry about judgement and what the other person thinks. Maybe he’ll ask Steve about getting a service dog or something.

-

Bucky spends the next week cataloging everything Steve does that’s even slightly odd. He notices a few things: Steve looks perpetually uncomfortable in clothes now and constantly fiddles with hems and tags, he’s also a little clumsier with his hands, and he’s a _much_ deeper sleeper (takes nothing less than a full body shake to wake him and he spends a good hour groggy and out of it before he properly wakes).

He’s also increasingly affectionate. At first he’d either do it without thinking, or catch himself and stop, but as the week passes and Bucky doesn’t tell him not to, Steve starts to do it with purpose. He sits, when he’s not directly _on_ Bucky’s lap, with as much of his body pressed against Bucky as possible, bumps his nose against Bucky’s cheek and kisses him chastely on the lips whenever he feels like it, regardless of if the other Avengers are in the room. He's usually touching at _least_ one person in a room.

So they're watching TV in the communal area one night, Steve curled on Bucky’s lap (as much as he can with how big he is) when Natasha walks in, eyes them incredulously and says,

“Still a lap dog then, I see.” Bucky laughs, aware that she’s joking, but Steve flushes red and he goes rigid, pushing off Bucky’s lap and leaving the room abruptly. They both stare after him. Natasha raises an eyebrow.

“No idea." Bucky says in answer, "He’s been a bit weird since he came back, I think he might be embarrassed about it.”

“If Steve’s reacting like that then maybe,” Natasha replies, eyes thoughtful, “Maybe you should talk to him about it. Like now.” Bucky takes that as the order it is and goes after Steve.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve is sitting on the couch when Bucky gets to the lounge, back straight and fists clenched where they rest on his knees. He’s obviously trying desperately to compose himself and retain some sense of dignity, but he’d been half asleep when Natasha had walked in on them, and Steve’s still struggling with mastering the transition from sleeping to waking since he got turned back. So as much as he’s aiming for the captain right now, the way his hands are already loosening, eyelids drooping, makes it pretty clear he’s not succeeding. He doesn’t even acknowledge Bucky till he sits down next to him on the couch.

“Bucky,” Steve says, opening his mouth like he wants to say something else, but ultimately stays silent. After a moment Bucky decides to just go for it.

“Hey so I don’t really understand what just happened buddy, but I just wanna say, that if it’s the leftover stuff from before, like the clothes and the sleep thing and stuff like, uh, earlier, they’re nothing to be ashamed of Steve. And you know the doctor says they’ll go away eventually,” he says. But Steve just makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, running his hands through already sleep-mussed hair.

"What if I don't want them to go away though Buck?" Steve says. Bucky frowns in confusion, but Steve just carries on, "It was-- it was simple before. I remember it, kind of, more in smells and blurs of shapes than anything else, but I can remember how uncomplicated it was. How everything was-- I didn't have to be-- I dunno Buck, but I think I want that feeling back, maybe. Not everything I've been doing since I've been back is involuntary, not even most of it." Bucky stares at him for a long time, chewing at a fingernail while he processes what Steve just said to him.

"So you want to be a dog again?" He asks.

"No!" Steve says quickly. But then he corrects, "I don’t know? I just want to be able to...go away for a little while. From everything." And Bucky is still confused, but maybe not at all surprised by what Steve is saying. In the two years since Bucky came back to Steve, he’s been increasingly lowering his involvement with the Avengers. It’s obvious being Captain America takes it’s toll on him, and with Bucky around and talk of Sam maybe taking up the shield, Steve has stopped suiting up quite to often. He seems much better for it: calmer, slowed down, and when Bucky had recovered enough to pay attention he started to see that. Steve had used to use action as a way of occupying his time and his thoughts, even when the Avengers weren't doing anything he'd go out _looking_ for trouble, helping out where the police couldn't. Steve had literally no idea what to do with himself otherwise, spending so long consumed with nothing else. Bucky honestly couldn't care less if Steve decided to retire altogether, though he knows he won't, not fully. But the point is, Steve has a lot more spare time that he didn't have before. And Bucky has an idea.

"Why don't you pretend?" he says finally. Steve quirks an eyebrow at him, tilts his head in question. "We have a lot of free time during the day, right? Well. Why don't you, when you want to, uh, go away for a little while, want it to be like it was, why don't you just _p_ _retend_ it is?" Bucky says. Steve still looks dubious, so Bucky shuffles on the couch till his back is against the cushions and reaches for Steve.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but look, come here--" Bucky manhandles Steve till he's mostly on top of him, pats at his legs till Steve cooperates and lays down across the couch with his head in Bucky lap, staring up at him with wide, surprised eyes (and Bucky doesn't miss the shocked excitement there either). Bucky pats Steve's belly, says, "Good. There you go," and smooths his hand up Steve's chest and over his shoulder with one hand, the other coming up to scratch lightly at Steve's scalp, tugging his hair. Steve is tense at first, still under Bucky's hands, but Bucky says _"Relax_ Stevie," and continues to brush his hands all over him, firm and steady like a therapist had suggested for grounding himself once upon a time. It works like he knows it will, and soon Steve is loose and pliant, lets Bucky tug at his shirt, pull him about a little more to get him to sit up while he pulls it off him. Then Steve lays back down, watching Bucky sleepily while he carries on stroking him, across his collar bones and down his sides (can't resist a dig into his armpit just to see him huff out a started laugh), curving a hand around his neck and squeezing gently.

"You good?"

"Mm, yeah Buck. Real good," Steve murmurs, already close to sleep.

They stay like that for a long time; his hands spread over the expanse of Steve's body, smoothing away any tenseness he can find, long enough that Steve falls asleep with his nose pressed against Bucky's stomach, wet breath tickling his skin. Bucky watches him sleep and thinks that if this is all he has to do to help Steve, just pretend with him for a little bit? Bucky is more than willing to do his part if it means Steve will feel more comfortable.

 


End file.
